ahhhhhhh!

NBC announced today that DirecTV customers can now subscribe to Chiller, a new station dedicated to horror movies. Um...yeah, I won't be subscribing to that anytime soon. No, thank you.

I love action movies and, ok, the occasional chick flick. But horror movies? No. No way. I've seen enough to know that I don't want to see anymore. For example, when I was in third grade, we watched Poltergeist at a friend's sleep over party -- and then they made me be the one that had to sleep next to the television that night. When I was six, I think I must have seen a clip or something from Jaws and from then on, I was always worried that a baby shark would squeeze out of the drain at the swimming pool and eat me alive. Eek! And does anyone remember the TV movie version of Stephen King's It? I had to stop watching because it was making me afraid of clowns and I actually wanted to continue to enjoy them.

So yeah, do with that information what you will. I'm erasing it from my memory.

pretty birthday

Ok, so it's late, but I have to get this in before the day is over. Apparently, it's Elizabeth Taylor's birthday today. She's gone a little nutty in the last few years and she's friends with Michael Jackson, but in her prime, she was smokin' hot!

random bar story

A few weeks ago, I had a random bar moment that I must post about because...well...it is pop culture related.

So I was standing in line for the women's bathroom [what's new?] when the bar started playing Billy Idol's "Dancing with Myself" over the loud speakers. For some reason, this motivated some random guy to start singing along to the song while looking at me.

Why is this a problem? Why did I get grossed out? Well, first of all, I'm married, so I had to use my patented scratching my forehead move that shows off my wedding ring. Apparently, the guy would not be deterred -- or else he was drunk -- because he kept singing along. This further grossed me out because "Dancing with Myself" is about, well, pleasing yourself. No, seriously, it is.

So yeah...married girls freak out when you sing songs about, you know, having sex by yourself to try and pick them up at bars.

Video of "Dancing with Myself" [YouTube] -- Note the apocolyptic/Blade Runner vibe. Apparently, some things in the future never change. Like dancing with yourself.
Billy Idol - Dancing with Myself [MP3 via sendspace]

r.i.p. [rip] studio 60

[Oh! It looks like IMDB did a redesign!]

Tonight, NBC is starting a new show called The Black Donolleys that is apparently awesome. I'll let you know later. But they're putting it in the Studio 60 time slot. For those of you who don't know alot about TV, this is a kiss of death for a show when you're bumped for a midseason replacement with no idea of when you are going to return.

I started watching Studio 60 when it was totally hyped as the new Aaron Sorkin drama. Since then, it's sucked. Ok, one or two shows are good, but that's usually followed by three episodes of crap. A snake is stuck in a vent with a ferret and a coyote? Let's play pretend parents with a doll they use for high school sex ed classes? People are drug addicts? UGH! The worst was when they would have all the religious debate that would go something like "Well, we did this skit that pissed off the Christians so they aren't showing Studio 60 this week in Cedar Rapids, Iowa where all the crazy Christians are." And NBC wondered why no one in the Midwest watched this show. On the romance front, that was all kinds of bad. Aaron Sorkin has no idea how to write romance. They hyped the two main couples, who I could care less about, while I waited for that 30 seconds each episode between this minor couple that was the most interesting on the show.

What makes this even more frustrating is that the cast was amazing! Matthew Perry was so awesome. So awesome! And I loved the interaction between D.L Hughley and Nate Corddry. Hell, just give Nate his own damn show -- without Sorkin writing it! -- and I would be all over that damn thing. And can I just say how much I love Lucy Davis? Because I do.

It's just a shame that such a great cast was saddled with such horrendous writing. So goodbye Studio 60! It was good getting to know you, but I'm glad you're gone.

the oscars aren't dead

They're merely departed. Ok, who else was so freaking excited that The Departed won best picture? I was so geeking out when they announced that. Yeah yeah yeah!!!!!

Other highlights:

-- Martin Scorsese winning best director. Not only was it cool, but you knew it was going to happen as soon as Coppola, Spielberg, and Lucas came out to present the Oscar. It was so awesome! You could tell he really is loved by the movie people and it's not some showy kiss ass thing.

-- Alan Arkin winning best supporting actor. If you haven't seen Little Miss Sunshine, get your ass out there and find a way to watch it. Such a great movie and Alan did a great job.

-- Helen Mirren is hot. I mean, hot. I hope I look that good when I'm her age.

-- Loved the musical number about not getting nominated as a comedic actor. Will Farrell, Jack Black, and John C. O'Reilly were all great in that!

-- Speaking of singing numbers, who else loved the Dreamgirls performance? I'm sure one of those songs would have won an Oscar, but with three in the same category, they split the vote. That being said, Melissa Ethridge's song was great.

-- I saw Al Gore on The Daily Show when I went to a taping of the show years ago. He was hilarious and I remember Jon Stewart asked him "Why weren't you this funny during the campaign?" He brought the funny again last night and I loved his little thing when he was about to announce something and then the orchestra played him off.

-- Ellen's fangirl schtick where she gave Martin Scorsese a script and had her picture taken with Clint Eastwood.

Disappointments:

-- I was really pulling for Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Wahlberg to win. Mark's performance was awesome in the movie. As for Leo, that guy deserves an Oscar win sooner or later. He may be a cute guy that all the 14-year-old girls love, but don't let that fool you. He really is an amazing talent.

-- My Tivo cut the show short because I only programmed it to add an hour. What the hell was up with that? Long show.

So go see The Departed, Little Miss Sunshine, and The Queen. You're welcome.

i'm back

Apparently, my parents' computer can't handle the Blogger interface because I could NEVER log in. Grrr. So I'm home and I promise to update, starting with a post about the Oscars. Wasn't that a great show? It was.

what's the buzz

Who has turned into the new Sinead O'Connor? Britney Spears!

I think those are her bodyguards, but I'm not sure. Frankly, I think the bodyguards aren't doing their job. They need to work harder at protecting Britney...from herself. I mean, really? You think someone shaves their own head and that's healthy? Anyway...

So in the past week, Britney was in Florida, then went to some harsh rehab in Antigua, then flew back to L.A. to be with her kids [at least they weren't with her during all this], then shaved her head, got some crappy tattoos, and went out with a wig that looks like it cost $5.

This girl has to be on a path to self-destruction because I don't know where she's going otherwise.

trl gets requested to leave

Remember when MTV's TRL was the biggest thing in the world. Well, Just Jared is reporting that the show has officially be canned. Yeah! Ok, it was good when it first started and I didn't realize Carson Daly was a tool. But then it just got horribly bad. I mean, when you know the votes are being staged, what's the point of watching? And it didn't matter what was voted on anyway considering you couldn't actually watch the video because of all the "shout-outs" like "Oh my God! Hi Susie!"

Rumor is that MTV may just replace it with more reality television. Um...that's part of the problem, not part of the solution, idiots.

growing pains make you fat

Remember Jeremy Miller? He was Ben on Growing Pains. He's also the "celebrity endorser" in this new crappy McDonald's ads about The Dollar Menuaires or something who buy stuff from the dollar menu at McDonad's because they're that rich. Ok, I'm currently unemployed and even I'm not desperate enough to buy stuff from the McDonald's dollar menu. Maybe a Burger King chicken sandwich every once in awhile, but I frankly don't remember the last time I was at McDonald's.

Ah, Growing Pains. Remember when Matthew Perry died on that show? And Leonardo DiCaprio was on that show for a season or something! Now, he's an Oscar nominee. Again.

Oh, and for those of you who are business school students lurking around, here's the six-month stock chart for MCD. I don't give a rat's ass if that stock gained $10 in the past six months -- I'm still not buying it.

stuff that's not funny

You know what's funny? Jon Stewart making fun of Bush being an idiot and Kerry being boring. You know what's not funny? The "fair and balanced" Fox News trying to make their own version of The Daily Show. It was be fine if it was smart, intelligent comedy that attacked the idea of stupid politicians. It's not so funny when it's snide and malicious and obviously only going after one half of the stupid people. What? You couldn't go after EVERY stupid person? Why not? Oh right, you're Fox News.

Here's the post from Oh No They Didn't about this crappy show. You can see the crap they call "comedy" from this YouTube link. Oh, it's so bad.

Remember when O'Reilly was on The Colbert Report and vice versa? That was funny. And yes, this will probably be the ONLY time I post a picture from The O'Reilly Factor.

i don't know about this

There are rumors that Hollywood will be making a movie about Milli Vanilli. Yeah, the lip syncing Milli Vanilli. Apparently, the VH1 Behind the Music wasn't enough to whet our appetite.

Oh, but spoiler alert! This is how the movie ends. At least, how I assume it ends. From the article:

"[Writer and Director Jeff Nathanson] has secured the cooperation of Milli Vanilli alumnus Fabrice Morvan, who has been pursuing a comeback for years, as well as the estate of his colleague, Rob Pilatus, who died of a drug overdose in 1998."

You would have known this if you had seen the updated Behind the Music. Another spoiler alert? In Titanic, the ship sinks at the end.

So in order to remind you of the whole having to return the best new artist Grammy, I give you this MP3:

Milli Vanilli - Blame It on the Rain

And if you want to know what Fab is up to, he has a Web site with his new single.

be my valentine

I don't like Valentine's Day, but I know people who do so I give you a Valentine's Day pop culture post with some links.

YouTube of NKOTB signing Valentine Girl in concert [This is from the No More Games tour, which I saw in Detroit. Twice.]

Fark.com's Valentine's Post [Share your best/worst dating stories in this thread. There are some good ones in there.]

Wikipedia's entry on St. Valentine [Apparently, there were many. So much for monogamy...or whatever.]

Dwangela's Valentine's Day Mix [Office fans, this is for you. What if Dwight gave Angela a mix tape for Valentine's Day? Right click to download this zip file for the answer.]

Pizza Express [Where The Husband and I will be ordering pizza from instead of going out in the freezing cold for a two-hour wait at a crappy restaurant where we will be shoved in to one of the extra tables said crappy restaurant squeezed in because of the crowds. The food will suck, the place will be fire code violation, and the noise level will be so high you have to yell at your honey just to get heard. So for $15, including tip, we're going to have a large pizza, breadsticks with garlic sauce, and two drinks as we watch something on our Tivo. Much better.]

wikit: marky mark

Ok, I have to say that Mark Wahlberg did a fantastic job in The Departed. I'm just saying that now so people don't get the idea that I'm ragging on him.

That being said, I saw him in concert in 1993 and yes, he did strip down to his underwear during the show. He also told the crowd what hotel he was staying at and his room number. Some friends and I took that information and called the hotel to speak to him and were denied by his entourage. Perhaps it's because we were 15 and 16 and called at 11 o'clock at night from a pay phone in a McDonald's parking lot. No, none of us had cell phones at the time because no one had cell phones at the time since it was 1992.

Oh, and that picture above? It just to hang on the back of my bedroom door -- as a huge poster. I still wonder why my parents let me do stuff like that.

Little known fact: Mark has a third nipple. Yes, it's true.

Little known fact: Mark was one of the original members of the New Kids on the Block, but dropped out. His brother Donnie, however, stayed in the group and became rich off of it.

Little known fact: The show Entourage is loosely based on Mark's life when he arrived in Hollywood and he's one of the executive producers for the show.

So with that, here is a Marky Mark song you'll all enjoy. It required me to find the CD and then rip it. Yeah, I'm a nerd who still owns the CD.

Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch - Good Vibrations

And yes, he is an Oscar nominee.

gram of grammys

Did anyone else watch the Grammys last night? I did, but learned a valuable lesson when I rewatched it with the husband. It would have been a much better idea to just let the Tivo tape the show and then watch it. Seriously, I was able to reduce a four-hour Grammy show to a half hour with Tivo.

Now don't get me wrong, there were some highlights like:
-- The Police reunited!!!!! [YouTube link here]
-- Justin Timberlake's two performances
-- Mary J on fire as always

But then there were some...I don't know how else to describe it except complete crap performances like:
-- Chris Brown "performing" a song that he sang probably ten whole words of the whole time while dancing the rest and letting his back-up singers do the heavy lifting
-- Ludacris rapping a song about some runaway girl [yes, I understand that some kids live troubled lives, but there's a difference between bringing attention to their plight and over doing it just to have people think you're a "serious" rapper]
-- Shakira's performance was ok, but you have to wonder how interesting a two-hour concert is when all she does is shimmy around the same way over and over again. Not only do her hips not lie, but they don't shut up, which would be fine if it wasn't for the fact that they say the same things over and over and over again

The big winners last night were the Dixie Chicks and I do like that one song about not wanting to place nice but all those Grammys were too many. Justin Timberlake should have at least gotten a few that went to the country chicks. As the husband and I talked about later, it's always weird with the Grammys. More than any other award show, when an artist starts to get momentum in the first hour of the award show, you know they're going to sweep everything. Even the Oscars aren't like that.

So yeah, did anyone even pay attention to this or was it just me?

paris is tacky

At least that is what you could assume based on the horrendous invitations that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker sent out for their wedding. I'm assuming Tony didn't get a say in these invites because wow. Any man with even a little bit of taste would have put their foot down after their fiancee said something like "What do you think about a red and gold invitation with a huge Eiffel Tower on it for our wedding in Paris? Yeah!!!!" My husband would have looked at me like I had three heads if I showed up with this thing and presented it to him as our wedding invitation. Hell, my husband picked out our invitations and they were classy and gorgeous. He has more taste than a rich actress.

Anyway, if you click the link above to see the photos on X17, you will easily assume this wedding is going to be tackytacular.

sloths

I don't know if any of you watch Saturday Night Live anymore, but be thankful -- or not -- if you don't. That show, without fail, is uneven, usually based on how good or bad the guest is. For example, this past Saturday was really really bad.

That being said, there were maybe two good sketches including an educational video about sloths that you just have to see to believe. For example, did you know sloths sleep 18 hours, but party 24? They also eat bamboo, but prefer your girl's...um...I don't know what they're referring to there. Too many stars and not enough letters that I can use to fill them in with.

Anyway, this YouTube link will teach you all about sloths.

wikit: adam ant

Before Johnny Depp made pirate attire chic again, there was only one pirate: Adam Ant. Now, I didn't know too many New Wave pirates -- hell, I didn't know any -- but there is something about Adam Ant that I wish I could replicate now. Maybe Halloween this year or something.

Not so little known fact: Adam Ant is not his real name. No kidding. His real name is Stuart Goddard. He was very smart to change it.

Little known fact: The band was originally called Adam and the Ants and was managed by the Sex Pistols' former manager, Malcolm McLaren. Malcolm then talked the other three members of the band into leaving Adam to go solo. That band, Bow Wow Wow, was a one-hit wonder and never got close to the success Adam Ant had on his own.

Little known fact: He once dated Jamie Lee Curtis. At least that's what it says on Wikipedia.

Little known fact: Adam got in some legal trouble in 2002 for brandishing a firearm at a pub in London. Turns out he has bipolar disorder.

So below are two great Adam Ant songs that may not be as well known to some of you. The first -- Desperate But Not Serious -- is an '80s classic and the second -- Wonderful -- comes from Adam's 1995 album of the same name.

Adam Ant - Desperate But Not Serious
Adam Ant - Wonderful

please explain my addiction

I admit it, I like the new Beyonce song Irreplaceable. No, I'm not planning to get rid of my husband, but there is just something about that song that just gets in my head. "Everything you own in a box to the left." It's all in one little box because Beyonce is a sugar mama despite the fact that in real life, she's dating Jay Z. But anyway, I still like the song. Just a warning: clicking on that link will make you get this stupid song stuck in your head, too. Proceed at your own risk.

And no, I have no idea why she feels to the need to pose with her hands on her head during a Red Carpet. I know I didn't tell her to do that.

rip or something

Poor Gerald Ford. When he died, he got his picture on CNN.com, but it looked much less glamorous than Anna Nicole Smith. Interesting that they all made fun of the trashy stripper turned billionaire with big fake boobies and now they're acting like she's this amazing talent who died too young. Whatever.

I think the biggest question now is will they add her to the Remeberance montage at the Oscars? After all, according to imdb.com [and yes, CNN used imdb as a source on the air], she was in The Hudsucker Proxy and Naked Gun 33 1/3. Also, she starred in several episodes of Entertainment Tonight and E! News Daily as herself and did a bunch of Playboy something or others.

By the way, don't even try to waste your time getting on to Oh No They Didn't -- I think the excess traffic shut the page down. Oh, and check out fark.com for their take on it. There's more than 1000 comments in the thread on her already. And finally, if you do need a laugh, there's always Slutty Smurfette from SNL.

you put what where?

Ok, so I admit it. I like Justin Timberlake's new album. I wouldn't mind seeing him in concert, too. There, I said it.

Apparently, the concert I really wanted to see was last night at Madison Square Garden when JT came out with Andy Samberg from Saturday Night Live to sing "Dick in a Box" -- a song originally performed on SNL back in December. Last night included the bad outfits, the strategically placed boxes, and a slight change of words. The holidays you can now give your loved one a dick in a box include Valentine's Day and Flag Day. Good to know.

Oh, and for those of you not familiar with the sketch, you can find the uncensored version here.

the more money, the less clothes

What is up with all the trust fund prima donnas taking their clothes off? You would think if they have money, they can afford to keep them on. Apparently not. And yes, you will notice this post has neither links nor photos. Do the work yourself.

Ok, so first we had the whole vagina display from the rich starlets in Hollywood, namely Britney Spears.

Then last week, we got parisexposed.com, a site selling Paris's stuff from a storage locker that she forgot to pay for. Here's the deal: If you smoke pot, do cocaine off of some fat guy's gut, have a friend who likes to wear nothing by tube socks -- on his feet, and take bubble baths, DON'T get photographic evidence of it! I don't need videos, pictures, or any of that crap. Just the idea makes me sick.

And on top of that, it now looks like another debutante is going to get her 15 minutes of fame with a sex tape. Most people didn't know who Paris Hilton was until her sex tape showed up. Now, you will all be hearing about Kim Kardashian, daughter of OJ Simpson lawyer Robert Kardashian, because of a sex tape scandal in which she may or may not have planted a sex tape for sale to get more attention. Just remember her name. Trust me.

Seriously, people, won't you think of the rich bitches the next time you put a sweater on. Please, send them some clothes!

dis or dat

Remember that computer game from the '90s called You Don't Know Jack? The sister and I loved to play that back in the day.

Anyway, it's online with Dis or Dat! Today's is perfect for the snow outside in Indiana -- ah, a weather-related Dis or Dat. Also have fun with:

I Can Count to at Least Two
Sharpen My Crayon, If You Know What I Mean

And thanks has to go to my friend Christian for letting me know this existed online. I've become an addict.

the day after

It's the day after the Super Bowl and I finally live in a state that has a Super Bowl champion! Sorry, but I used to live in Detroit. I was born in Cleveland. This is pretty remarkable for me.

But who cares about football? This year, as with every year, it's about the Super Bowl ads. So far though, it sounds like they were pretty unforgettable and I tend to agree. For me, the best were the Career Builder ads featuring offices in the middle of the jungle and the in-house CBS ad for Letterman's show featuring Oprah Winfrey.

Check out the MSNBC Interactive Super Bowl ad showdown to pick your favorites and weed out the duds. [Thanks for the link, Jenny.]

the muppets: behind the music

Like most of us, I grew up watching The Muppets when I was younger. But as we all know, that show had to finally be cancelled when Kermit became a cocaine addict. You know, it was the '80s and everything and he tried to live like a rock star.

Fine, Kermit never did cocaine, but The Muppet Show finally went off the air after many seasons and we were all left wondering what happened to our favorite frog and pig. Well, our questions may be answered. There are rumors that the Muppets are going to do a mini-series to explain where they've been. And good news! They may be getting back together. Woot! Although, I have to say, I always fond that Miss Piggy high maintenance. What was up with that?

super bowl shuffle

Ok, I'm totally going to be a bandwagon fan and root for the Colts this weekend because this is the first time I've ever lived this close to a team going to the Super Bowl. I mean, I'm from Detroit. What do you want from me?

Despite that, I'm sure no one can forget the Chicago Bears' Super Bowl win in 1986. They totally trounced the New England Patriots [yes, things have changed in the past twenty years]. The team also had some great players including William "The Refridgerator" Perry, the legendary Walter Payton, and Jim McMahon, who always wore sunglasses because his eyes were sensitive to light after a freak accident as a kid when his brother poked his eye with a fork.

So with that, I give you the always entertaining Super Bowl Shuffle.

wikit: prince

In honor of this weekend's Super Bowl, I give you a wikit for Prince, who will be playing the halftime show for the big game. By the way, the above picture is from Prince's rehearsal for the show. No, I don't know if he actually wears bright orange suits everyday or just for special occasions like Super Bowl rehearsals. I have to say though, I kind of like that chick's dress-- you know, if it was a little shorter to cover my ass.

Not little known facts about Prince: He's from Minnesota and he likes purple.

Little known fact: He once stood behind my friend Stacy's dad at the check out line at the local grocery story in Minneapolis.

Little known fact: A song by Prince made Tipper Gore start the Parents Music Resource Center, which is responsible for those Parental Advisory labels on albums. Tipper heard her 12-year-old daughter playing "Darling Nikki," a song from the Purple Rain soundtrack about a sex fiend. Well yeah, that may not be the best for a 12-year-old to be listening to. That being said, Prince ended up winning an Oscar for his work on the soundtrack.

Little known fact: The whole symbol thing wasn't to be weird and artistic or something. It was rebel against his record label at the time, whom he felt were treating him unfairly. I don't know why you need a symbol for that, but there you go.

And so I give you my favorite Prince song, which he may or may not be performing on Sunday. Let's hope he at least doesn't have some sort of wardrobe malfunction.

Prince - Let's Go Crazy

be deathly afraid

First, I don't like the title for the seventh Harry Potter. There, I said it. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows does not roll off my tongue the way I want it to. Hell, it doesn't roll off my tongue at all. I'm going to have to refer to it by an acronym like "Harry Potter and the DH" or something.

That being said, I'm excited about it's release on...July 21! It's official, people. Although the date annoys me, too. Why not July 7 [07/07/07] or July 31, Harry's birthday? These book people don't know how to properly sell a book. I mean, Book Seven on July 7th! How can you forget that?

And I have to go see the next Harry Potter movie on July 13 and then start the book a week later? Yes, July is Harry Potter month. That Harry Potter kid is getting so rich off of me.

Speaking of the Harry Potter kid, Daniel Radcliffe is starring in a play on London's West End soon [the British version of Broadway]. The promotional pictures recently sent out leave little to the imagination. As David said on Hogwarts Herald, "Daniel will be acting in the outfit God made him." That's one way of putting it.

don't take your bus to town

Especially if that bus was stolen.

I was watching American Idol the other day and they had this chick and her mom on with this really long hair. Somehow I remember that Crystal Gayle had really long hair. Why I knew about a country singer that was popular in 1983, I have no idea.

Anyway, that's when a friend brought up the fact that Crystal's tour bus was recently stolen. How can you steal a tour bus? A Toyota Corolla I can understand, but a tour bus? And it turns out the guy drove it to Daytona Speedway. Well, of course, a country fan who stole Crystal Gayle's tour bus would take it to the Mecca of Nascar racing!

So if you own a tour bus, I recommend you lock the doors when you get out next time.