red carpet interviews

I love watching all the pre-show coverage before the Golden Globes or the Oscars to see what people are wearing or hope I catch a glimpse of one of my favorite actors or singers getting interviewed. But as I watched all the entertainment coverage on Monday, I realized that there are certain criteria to get a job being an red carpet interviewer. First, you have to look pretty. Second, you have to dress pretty. Third, you have to be a vapid idiot.

For example, let's say I'm given the chance to do a red carpet interview with Leonardo DiCaprio at the Golden Globes. Here are some things I would ask:

-- The Departed is your third movie with Martin Scorcese. Why do you like working with him so much?
-- How did you learn the accent you used in "Blood Diamond" and how long did it take you to get it right?

You know, things like that. Instead, these were the questions that Leo was asked.

-- Who are you wearing?
-- How long did it take you to get ready today?
-- Who is your date?

Really? That's all you can come up with? It gets worse when the different outfits make celebrities look stupid with hokey pokey garbage. These things would include:

-- The rotating platform that Entertainment Tonight made people stand on while being interviewed by Mary Hart.
-- The Glam Cam on E!. Make sure to stand still while we take a full body shot of your outfit as we zoom up your legs to your crotch, your cleavage, and finally, your face as an afterthought.
-- The Insider Confessional Cam! Confess your darkest secrets, Sheryl Crow, or you won't get free Moet champagne.
-- The Insider Two-Way Mirror. Because wouldn't it be embarassing if a celeb's dress was accidentally tucked into her underwear before she went it?
-- The E! Post-Show Interview Lounge with an open bar! It started lame and then the chick from E! put Helen Mirren's Golden Globes on some stupid stand that rotates around and accidentally dropped one. Yes, she dropped Helen Mirren's Golden Globe. Awkward.

So yeah, it's times like these when I'm glad I have a Tivo and a mute button. I will admit, I Tivoed all the shows mentioned above, but I was also admit that it only took me 20 minutes to get through three hours of that crap before deleting it forever.